THE NAMESAKE (part 2)

Summary:

Gogol legally changes his name to Nikhil and goes to Yale. There, he meets a girl named Ruth and dates her for a little over a year, they break up because they have fallen out of love for each other. Ashoke tells Gogol the story behind his name and the meaning behind it. He graduates from both Yale and Columbia Architecture School and works for a firm in Manhattan, living in a cheap apartment. He meets Maxine, his first serious girlfriend, at a party his friend hosts. Gogol becomes distant with his parents and falls in love with Maxine's parents' (Gerald and Lydia) way of living. Ashoke moves to Cleveland to temporarily teach a class in the University there, and Ashima later receives the news of her husband's death by a heart attack. Gogol goes to Cleveland to collect his father's belongings and ends up spending the night in his father's temporary residence, when he comes back, he spends eleven days with Bengali family friends in his house, mourning with the Gangulis. Maxine comes and tries to convince him to take some time away from the family, to be alone for a while with her in New Hampshire. Ashima learns that her husband was preparing her to live alone while he was in Cleveland.

To start, I have mixed feelings about Gogol changing his name. I will start with how I understand why he changed his name. First of all, "Gogol is a strange name", Gogol himself says this. Usually, if people heard this name, they would wonder if it's a short nickname for the person. Nobody really takes the name seriously like when they hear the name James or Ethan. If I were in his position, I'd feel the same way. I guess it's also the way people say it, many people have mispronounced my name before and it would make me feel awkward about my name.

What I don't understand is why go through so much to change your name? He had to go to court, only to be there for about ten minutes to say "I hate my name." and receive a certificate and a congratulatory card on his new name. But that's not it. He had to go through all of his documentations and contact insurance companies he's associated with to tell them that he's changed his name. Also, getting used to Nikhil for him must have been quite hard. Sometimes, he didn't even respond to the name Nikhil. What I also don't understand is, why Nikhil. He hated the fact that his previous name, Gogol, was associated with a miserable Russian author, but then changes to Nikhil, which is similar to Nikolai. So, my reaction to this news can't really be explained other than "??????????????????". I simply don't understand. To be fair, Gogol didn't know the meaning and story behind his name when he changed it, but still.

I love how both Gogol's relationships start with how him and the girl talk excessively and comfortably for hours. It's all conversational and Lahiri makes the start of relationships seem fun. The way Gogol meets Ruth is great, I find. Better than how he met Maxine. The way he met Ruth was romantic, it was innocent, they were a pure couple. I've always had a weird vibe with Maxine. She was drunk when Gogol and her met, and her aura attracted him.

The way of living for the Ratliff family is what really seduced Gogol. Fancy American food made with rare ingredients, food that's foreign to him because of his Indian household. Drinking enormous amounts of wine and talking at the dinner table. He fell in love with the fact that being wealthy and owning a lavish mansion didn't mean they always had to be formal. He admired how Gerald and Lydia openly showed affection and cuddle on the couch in front of the TV while sipping wine whenever Gogol came home from work. It made him realize that he's never seen his own parents showing any type of affection to each other. I can relate to this. Kind of.

My parents do show affection, and it's sweet, except when they're hugging in the kitchen while I'm putting away the dishes or when I'm cooking. But these moments are slightly rare. The only times I see them cuddling under a blanket and watching Netflix is on movie night on a Friday or Saturday night when I come home from work. I have many friends who either have very comfortable parents who joke around with each other and say 'I love you' out in the open, or their parents are secretive with their love but you can still see and feel the presence of it between them. However, some cultures are like that, they're strict when it comes to showing affection because in those cultures it's considered disrespectful to the guest. Every couple is different. For Ashima and Ashoke, I feel like they're more friends than they are a married couple. To be fair, their marriage was arranged and they never really got to know what 'true love' is.

About Gerald and Lydia's way of living, Jhumpa made a really good job making it seem like a dream, a very relaxed one. The type that makes you think 'I want my future to look like that.'. it was very appealing and I gotta admit, I do want my future to look like that. Except, I see that as the far future. Maybe when I'm fifty or sixty-years-old. My near future, so maybe in fifteen to twenty years, I'll be busy. Balancing work and family time with, probably, three kids and a dog in a single house and eat dinner with my family around 5 or 7 PM.

I guess you can say I want a pretty 'white' lifestyle when I get older. But white people aren't always so different from us immigrants. Our lifestyles aren't so different nowadays since we're very diverse, we learn from each other. Of course, there's still many differences, we learn to do things differently. But families, no matter the race nowadays, will do what they want. The white or the immigrant way, or mix and match both.

Ashoke's death was quite unexpected. I didn't think he would die, he sounded like a very healthy person. It was quite confusing, to be honest. It was also very sudden. I can't relate to this, I've never lost anyone so close to me. Although, I know people that died that were very close to some friends of mine and hearing the sad news was shocking. Disbelief is really the only word that describes my feelings when I hear this kind of news. For Gogol to have the guts to go to his father's temporary residence in Cleveland is pretty unbelievable, too. I wouldn't have been able to do what he did. And to see his father's face in the morgue was pretty scary. Gogol noticing his father's glasses that were missing was interesting. It actually made me wonder where his glasses were. When the nurse gave Gogol Ashoke's belongings, his glasses weren't there. I guess this whole chapter made me slightly uncomfortable and shocked. Gogol spending the night in his father's apartment scared me, for some reason. I think it's the thought that it's his dead father's place.

When Maxine came to see Gogol at his house on Pemberton Road while the Bengali family friends were still there, mourning with the Gangulis, I was slightly annoyed. She tried to convince Gogol to take some time away from his family and to come back to New Hampshire to have some alone time. I understand her point of view, and frankly, this is something Gogol would do but only for a different situation. It is good to spend some time away to sink things in and accept, but not for his father's death. Not when he's mourning, not when his family needs him the most. Whether he likes it or not, he's now the 'man' in the family. The one to protect his mother and Sonia and to help pave a path for their future. Maybe Maxine thought Ashima and Sonia would be fine with the other Bengalis' company, but she didn't think that it would be good for Gogol as well.

It was then, that Gogol finally realized how much family means. How important they are. He clearly took them for granted and started to amend for it by staying with Ashima and Sonia, taking care of them both. I really think Maxine should have just been supportive of the family instead of trying to convince Gogol to come away. It really seemed like she wanted him to come back to the luxurious American life instead of going back to his Indian lifestyle. Maxine represented Gogol's American side that he almost fully committed to, and Ashoke's death was kind of a major wake up call to never forget of his own heritage.

As Ashima said as well, Ashoke left for Cleveland to prepare her to live alone. I'm not entirely sure if those were his pure intentions, but I understand that she thought is was a head start, to slowly learn what it's like to be alone without a husband to do everything for her.

I found these few chapters quite sad, though, I have to say I'm glad Gogol finally realized that his family is very important and that they'll always be there at his worst and at his best.

- Kiara